Lonely or Alone?

 

So often I talk to my friends, and more and more I think about what these two completely different things mean to us. Trying to avoid one, people chose the other one as an alternative and wonder why they still feel incomplete and trapped. I bet you are confused now so let me explain.

One of my friends is going through a pretty rough time in her relationship, she was very serious about a guy that turned out he doesn’t want to get married, which was completely opposite from what she wanted. It was heartbreaking and it was very tough, but she had to decide either to stay with the guy or move on, and look for someone else who was willing to start a family and make it official. She was afraid to end the relationship, because she didn’t want to be alone, she said that every time she ends a relationship it makes her feel like there is something wrong with her. She wonders why men don’t stay or don’t want to get serious, but this is so not true! People have to click, it’s like a puzzle and if pieces don’t match then no matter how perfect they are individually, it’s just not going to work!!! People start looking for things they are doing wrong by putting themselves under a microscope, overanalyzing everything and trying to fix problems that technically don’t exist. This ends up making everything even worse, but the moral of the story is that if it’s not “YOUR” person it wouldn’t work either way, and it was only a matter of time. Trying to be with a person, because you’re scared of being alone, is not the way to go, because this is your direct path to being lonely. To me, lonely is way more hurtful and disruptive than being alone. Being alone is just a matter of circumstance, it’s a result of not meeting “YOUR” person, being lonely is a choice. Having someone near, but always feeling that you’re by yourself hurts, not being understood, not being loved the way you want to be makes you want to pick yourself apart and look for things that are wrong, and that leads to lower self-esteem and self-worth as a result. Being with someone but being disconnected can leave you feeling even more lonely than being alone.

Don’t ever be afraid to be alone, it’s not as bad as being lonely with someone near…

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